


Barmecide

by Nemainofthewater



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Don't copy to another site, Gen, Ghosts, Haunting, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Panic Attacks, Rocks Fall Everyone Dies, Swearing, ben didn't die (earlier), five never travelled to the future
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2019-12-25 08:19:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18257417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nemainofthewater/pseuds/Nemainofthewater
Summary: /ˈbɑːmɪsʌɪd/: Illusory or imaginary and therefore disappointing. Originating from the early 18th century: from Arabic Barmakī, the name of a prince in the Arabian Nights' Entertainments, who gave a beggar a feast consisting of ornate but empty dishes.January 1st 2007. A tragedy that wipes out an entire family. All except Klaus.An AU where it's only after death that they start to bond.(And also protect Klaus because holy hell that boy has no self-preservation instinct)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, one of my other stories is 'what is Klaus died': here's what is everyone else did instead!

It’s funny. Because it’s not a mission, or a natural disaster or something epic and comic-book worthy. Instead it’s mundane. A tragedy, yes, but not one that would make a satisfactory action film.

 

January 1st. 2007. The Hargreeves mansion burns down. Suspected cause: gas leak and smouldering cigarette left on the kitchen table, gently placed into a fancy saucer. The police investigate, of course they do. No accelerant found. Nothing suspicious. The news cycle runs with it for a day or so, but once it becomes clear that there’s nothing to tell they drop it. There are more interesting and scandalous things to cover than a group of has-been superheroes.

 

The final police report, although Klaus has never seen it, probably looked something like this:

 

Accident at Hargreeves mansion. Fire burnt everything down. All inhabitants dead. Six minors, one 80-year-old male, one monkey, species unknown.

 

(One melted lump of plastic and metal, found sitting in front of the remains of several priceless paintings)

 

One survivor, Klaus Hargreeves. Because he was a fucking idiot and had snuck out to get high. Recommendation: no further punishment. The one that he has to live with is enough.

 

Well, maybe Klaus is exaggerating a bit. How the fuck would he know what a police report looks like anyway? Whenever he’s been arrested, the cops aren’t exactly eager to share what they’re writing with the lunatic talking to thin air in cell three.

 

So yeah. They talk to Klaus of course, because a rich billionaire’s house burns down killing the billionaire and all benefactors except one? Textbook murder mystery. Fortunately (or maybe not?) for Klaus he has a textbook alibi, because at the time of the explosion he was a) so high he doubts that he could remember his own name never mind plan and execute a cold-blooded murder plot, b) clubbing, surrounded by hundreds of witnesses and security cameras, c) he didn’t even know anything had happened until the next day when the police burst into (Dan? Darren? Daryll?)’s hotel room and arrest Klaus. It’s pretty hard to feign that level of confusion, and criminal genii are at least usually wearing pants.

 

(The police don’t tell him anything, the entire time he’s there but Klaus knows what’s happened as soon as he starts to sober up after hour seven of sitting in a cell, waiting to be released. It’s hard not to when they surround him, all of his siblings. Thank fuck dear daddy isn’t there.)

 

Blinking outside the police station after hours of interrogation, Klaus’ first thought is that he can feel the drugs wearing off. His second is that he doesn’t have any money. He pats himself down to make sure, but extra-money (or drugs, he would definitely accept drugs) doesn’t materialise. No money which means no more drugs, which means painful sobriety.

 

“That would be a good power,” he says, “Being able to get high at will.”

 

“Isn’t that already your power?” an unimpressed Five says, arms crossed and condescending look firmly entrenched.

 

“Dearest Five,” Klaus says, batting his eyelashes prettily, “Would that it were. But unfortunately, like everything in life I actually have to work at getting high. We can’t all be naturals like you.”

 

“Klaus,” Ben says, “Do you really think it’s a good idea to talk about getting high in front of a police station? One that you’ve just been released from?”

 

“You need to find dad’s lawyer,” Allison says, “He’ll know somewhere you can stay.”

 

Of course. Because it isn’t enough that Klaus can feel the withdrawal setting in, can sense the ghosts (not his siblings they don’t count they never count) closing in.

 

“Stop being such a mom Allison,” Klaus says, “I can take care of myself.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Oh my god Luther,” Klaus pouts, “Stop being such a condescending bastard.”

 

Luther frowns.

 

“Klaus,” he starts ponderously, and Klaus groans and covers his ears in anticipation of the upcoming lecture, “You’re the only member of the Umbrella Academy left-”

 

“-nooo, I hadn’t noticed,” Klaus mutters.

 

“-which means that you have a duty to continue our work. You need to re-establish the Academy and prepare for the dangers that father was grooming us for.”

 

“You know, all of you seem to be taking death very well!” Klaus says, voice high and manic, “Don’t you maybe want to talk about that? Air some issues?”

 

He stumbles along the road, finally spotting a park bench and collapsing into it. He’s only half doing it to be dramatic: he’s just realised. Everyone is dead. And sure, that doesn’t mean too much to him because hello he’s surrounded by his own ghostly family posse at this very moment, but still. Everyone’s dead.  

 

Someone’s making an awful noise, he realises. A kind of high-pitched wheezing, like a toy train has suddenly decided to jump the tracks run away to the park. He can’t see what’s making it though because his vision is going kind of blurry at the edges, which is making it hard to see, well, anything.

 

“-Breathe, Klaus you have to breathe. Deeps breaths, ok? You need to breathe. Listen to my voice Klaus. Breathe in and hold it. Now breathe out. In and hold, and out. In and hold-”

 

Huh. That’s Vanya’s voice. Shy Number Seven, never speaking out, managing to fade into the corner of every room she’s in. She’s making herself heard now, shouting at him. And the way that she’s shouting at him, that must mean that he’s the one making those noises.

 

His lungs are burning. He can’t breathe right. How had he missed that? He closes his eyes and tries to listen to his sister’s voice. In and out, that’s elementary right? Even babies can do that.

 

But, and this is a thought. What if he didn’t? What if he didn’t follow his well-meaning sister’s advice. What if instead he just…sat here. Failed to breathe.

 

More voices are surrounding him now.

 

“Stop messing around you asshole. Come on Klaus, don’t do this to us.”

 

“Klaus, I heard a rumour that you were breathing normally.”

 

“I can’t believe this is what’s left of the Umbrella Academy.”

 

“Damnit Klaus stop acting out for once in you sorry life.”

 

“L-leave him alone guys! Klaus please. Listen to me. Please, just- in and out Klaus. In and out.”

 

“Klaus darling. What are you doing?”

 

What? That’s not anyone he knows. And it’s evidentially not any of his siblings. None of them can sound so…gentle. Not when talking to him anyway. All the other voices have cut off, and all that’s left is the sound of his ragged breathing as he fights to get himself under control.

 

He opens his eyes.

 

“Mom?” he asks incredulously. Because she’s there, standing in front of him. Looking exactly as she had ever since he can remember.

 

(“Mom,” Diego breathes, tears running down his face, disappearing before they reach the ground)

 

“Oh Klaus,” she sighs, “You have made a mess of yourself, haven’t you? I’m here though darling.”

 

“I guess that answers that question then,” Klaus laughs weakly, “Looks like androids really do dream of electric sheep.”

 

“How the hell do you know about that book?” Ben asks.

 

“I saw it on you bed,” Klaus says, “And the title…I wasn’t sure if I was hallucinating at the time because what the fuck is up with that title Ben?”

 

“You douche!” Ben says, “All this time I could have been having an actual interesting conversation with someone and you didn’t tell me you’d read it!”

 

“Boys,” Grace says serenely, “Play nice.”

 

She rests her hand on Klaus’ shoulder briefly, before pulling him into a hug. She hasn’t hugged him like this for at least a decade. She hasn’t hugged any of them, not once Reginald caught wind of what she was doing and put an end to it.

 

Klaus leans into it gratefully- Wait.

 

“Mom,” he says, voice breaking, “How are you doing that? Touching me?”

 

Five approaches then, and pokes Klaus. As expected, his fingers go straight through him.

 

He scowls.

 

“You all try,” he says to the others imperiously.

 

“Shouldn’t we be finding somewhere for Klaus to sleep?” Allison asks pointedly.

 

“It’ll only take a minute,” Five says, “And aren’t you curious about how much we can interact with the world?”

 

“Don’t people think that maybe you should ask before randomly poking your brother?” Klaus asks, but is ignored.

 

It doesn’t do any good. Everyone’s hands pass through him, although it looks like Ben’s give off some blue sparks where flesh meets ghostly flesh. He can still feel the comforting pressure of mom’s hand on his shoulder.

 

“Mom’s definitely dead, right?” Luther asks.

 

“Oh my god Luther, grow some tact,” Ben mutters.

 

“I’m pretty sure she’s gone,” Diego says. He’s come up behind Grace and he tentatively draws her into a hug. Klaus isn’t jealous. He isn’t.

 

“Well this is great,” Klaus says, “So great. I’m glad we had this talk. Now if you wouldn’t mind fucking off to wherever so that I can go and get high that’d be great.”

 

There are shadows coalescing at the corner of his eyes. He doesn’t want to know what they become.

 

“Klaus,” it’s Vanya again and someone has grown a backbone haven’t they? Pity it took dying to achieve that, “We’re not going to leave you alone. I’m not going to leave you alone. You’re family, remember?”

 

Klaus snorts, “Yeah like that’s ever stopped you before.”

 

“Hey,” Diego says, “Maybe I haven’t been the best brother… Ok, I haven’t been the best brother to you. But I’m dead Klaus. We all are. Number One, Number two? None of that matters anymore. None of it mattered in the first place. We literally have nothing better to do than haunt your ass into sobriety.”

 

“I just want to figure out why you can only touch certain people,” Five says.

 

“Oh well, so long as you’re only here for the scientific interest,” Ben says, rolling his eyes.

 

Luther opens his mouth, but Allison jabs him in the side.

 

“What?” Luther says, “All I was going to say was that I would be a poor Number One if I didn’t try and protect you from yourself.”

 

“Holy crap, that was almost a nice thing to say!”

 

“We’re all here for you Klaus,” Allison says firmly, “Family.”

 

And actually…it’s kind of nice. Knowing that they have his back for once. Even if it took them all dying to get here.

 

“Good,” says Five, “Now that all that emotional bullshit is over let’s get you off that bench. I’m pretty sure you’ve traumatised that child.”

 

Klaus looks down. There’s a six-year-old of indeterminate gender staring up at him, eyes wide.

 

“Sorry kid,” Klaus says, “It only gets worse from here.”

 

“KLAUS!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here be monsters

Here be monsters.

 

Ben knows monsters. He’s lived with them for almost as long as he can remember, trapped in his chest, desperately trying to keep Them from entering the physical world, or controlling Them whenever Luther or dad demand that he use his powers on a mission.

He’s not like Luther or Diego or Allison or Five (or Vanya). They can turn off their powers in a way, or at least if they don’t have complete control, then nothing worse than a couple of broken doors come from it. Ben can’t. It’s one of the reasons that he’s so close with close with Klaus, despite his brother being an annoyingly hyperactive brat most of the time. It’s nice to have someone understand the sheer exhaustion from keeping one’s powers in check.

 

(“Why don’t you just…not use them?” Luther asks the one time that Ben tried to explain it to him. He quickly gives up on talking about Them to anyone but Klaus after that.)

 

Ben… Ben has had to maintain control for every single day of his life, because if his vigilance slips, even one bit, They come out to play. And Ben isn’t sure what unleashing a coterie of Lovecraftian tentacled beings on the world would do, but he’s pretty sure that it wouldn’t be pretty. For anyone.

 

(They weren’t so bad before. When he was younger, and They were just kinda weird playmates. But then came the tests and the experiments and taking Them and forcing Them to kill over and over and over, body covered in blood, and blood soaking into his uniform and blood all over Them, and… And after that they weren’t so gentle.)

 

So yes. The point is that Ben is familiar with dealing with literal monsters (and maybe death is worth it because it means that for the first time in years, he can _rest_. Not that he’ll ever admit it to the rest of his siblings).

 

So, three days post death and three days into sobriety, when he sees the ghosts for the first time, he immediately understands.

 

“God Klaus,” he says, “Why didn’t you tell me it was this bad?”

 

Because they’re everywhere. Surrounding Klaus, following him wherever he goes. A set of twin girls, their neat cornrows soaked with water and faces bloated, the middle-aged homeless man shivering and inching closer and closer to Klaus’ warmth, the teenaged girl with a necklace of bruises in the shape of fingers, the unrepentant murderer bullet holes littering his chest. Klaus is never alone.

 

And they know-the ghosts know that he can see them somehow, can sense something about Klaus that draws them to him like a beacon (and Ben can hear it inside him: ‘he’s warm he’s alive he can see us he can help why won’t he help Klaus help me please help me why won’t you help me he’s so warm please I’m cold I’m so cold let me take some of your warmth please just a bit I just need some of your warmth please Klaus’).

 

Klaus blinks up at Ben. He’s lounging in the cheap motel room that dad’s lawyer has rented for him while he gets the estate in order, television cranked up as high as it can get, a pint of ice cream melting on top of an alarmingly large plate of waffles.

 

(It takes all of them to get Klaus to stay there, to not disappear back onto the streets in search of his next hit. They take shifts: one of them watching Klaus at all times while the rest of them try and explore the limits of what they can actually _do_ as ghosts. They’ve been successful so far but who knows how long they can keep this up?)

 

“Say what was this bad?” Klaus asks, “Unless you mean daytime television which, I’m sorry to say Benny, has actually always been this bad, so I guess we should thank dear old daddikins for never letting us watch it-”

 

“No,” Ben says, cutting him off because in the last few days he’s learnt that if left to his own devices Klaus will talk and talk and talk, eyes darting nervously toward the dead and back again.

 

(How have they managed to miss this? Miss Klaus’ constant terrified glances at things that only he can see?)

 

“I mean _them_.”

 

Ben makes a sweeping movement, his arm encompassing the hotel manager gently swaying from the ceiling in the corner and the young woman on the carpet, a pool of blood spreading out from the knife in her chest.

 

Klaus blinks.

 

“Still not sure what you’re on about bro,” he says.

 

“Not sure- _the dead_ Klaus! I’m talking about the dead!”

 

Understanding fills Klaus’ eyes.

 

“Ohhhhhh,” he breathes. He laughs.

 

“Those guys are nothing!” he says, “I mean, yeah a little gross. But none of them were killed in the actual bed,” he shudders, “Why do you think I slept in your room so often as kids?”

 

Ben feels sick.

 

“You mean,” he said, “Someone died in your room?”

 

“Yeah. There was this kid? Seven or eight, I think. Anyway, his dad smothered him in bed or something, not that I blame him because god that kid would not shut up.”

 

“Did,” Ben asks faintly, “Did dad know about that? The dead boy in your bed?”

 

Klaus looks puzzled.

 

“Why do you think bought the haunted bed in the first place?” he asks.

 

Ben doesn’t know whether ghosts can be sick, but he thinks that he may be finding out sooner rather than later. Years of memories have suddenly gained clarity, and Ben doesn’t like what he’s remembering. Because Klaus starting to sneak into his room when they were six. Six years old: the year after Reginald had finally determined that Klaus could actually see the dead and wasn’t just hallucinating. And Ben…Ben had been a child as well. A child who was barely holding on, who was a stupid, selfish brother who could only think of his own problems. Who would sometimes shove a chair against his door so that Klaus couldn’t get in. Why would listen to his brother pound on his door, and just pull the covers tighter over his head.

 

“Are you ok Ben? You look pale. Paler than normal I mean.”

 

Klaus is finally looking worried, but not because of the ghosts. Because he, Ben, was worrying his.

 

“Fine,” he says instead.

 

“Hey, budge up.”

 

Klaus does so obligingly, and Ben sits next to him.

 

“So,” he says, looking at the bright screen, “What are we watching?”

 

“Real Housewives of America,” Klaus says, something like glee in his tone, “But-” and he looks hesitant, “I think there’s a Next Gen marathon on one of the other channels?”

 

“Hell yeah,” Ben says, grinning at him, “Bring it on.”

 

Ben’s fought his monsters his entire life. He just needs to figure out a way to fight Klaus’ as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben is an angel and he is feeling horribly guilty but Ben: it wasn't your fault ok???? Klaus, you deffo need to get moving on making Ben corporeal so that he can give you the BIGGEST HUG EVER.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben tries to organise a family meeting.

“We need a family meeting. Right the fuck now.”

 

Vanya blinks. She’s not really sure she’s ever heard Ben swear before. At least not like _that_. Dad hates (hated?) swearing, said that vulgarities were the sign of an underdeveloped mind and none of the Academy were going to shame him like that.

 

(Klaus had immediately started swearing as much as possible around dad, although he generally stopped when they were alone because he knew that Vanya genuinely didn’t like hearing the swear words, that it made her feel itch and wrong inside).

 

So to hear Ben, gentle Ben who makes himself small against the judgement of the world, who goes out of his way to bury his deep vein of sarcasm and dark humour beneath a bland façade swear… It’s the first thing that indicates that something isn’t quite right here.

 

(Later she wonders how Ben was holding it all together as well as he had been).

 

Ben looks…intense. Wild around the eyes, and exhausted in a way that she associates with the times he’s stayed up until six am to finish one of his books, and dad has forced him to train anyway.

 

“Klaus is asleep. Finally. You look after him and I’ll go and find the rest of them.”

 

Ben doesn’t wait for an answer but starts to stride toward the door.

 

“Wait!” Vanya says, “How are you going to find them?”

 

“Oh,” says Ben, weird look still in his eyes, “I’ll find them.” He pauses. “Vanya,” he says slowly, “Klaus…his powers…Ghosts are staring to manifest themselves around him. There are some in the room- Look, they’re not a pretty sight. But they won’t hurt you. Not those ones.”

 

And with those last ominous words he vanishes.

 

Vanya sighs. Makes her way inside the motel room, phasing through the door with a faint shudder. She might be a ghost now, but she’s never going to get used to that feeling. Impermanence, literally fading into corners. She’s had enough of that throughout her life, she doesn’t want to spend her entire afterlife overlooked as well.

 

(There’s a small part of her that glad that none of the others have their abilities here. That she isn’t the only normal one.)

 

“Hey Klaus,” she says quietly to the figure on the bed. She doesn’t want to wake him, not when she thinks that this is the first time he’s slept for at least two days, but she also thrills in the fact that Klaus can… actually see her. Because she’s maybe spent most of the day screaming at passers-by to listen to her, to see her to acknowledge her existence. Maybe she’s expended most of her energy in jagged crying fits, lying curled on the sidewalk, counting the number of people just walking through her.

 

(Vanya always thought that she’d be acknowledged one day, one day when she was old enough to move out and leave her family behind. Had dreamt of the day where someone would look at her and see Vanya Hargreeves, not disappointing Number Seven. She would leave and she would reinvent herself, and she didn’t want to be famous. She just wanted to be seen. And then she died, and now nobody will ever see her again apart from her family.)

 

She walks over to the bed, and slides into the covers with him. She doesn’t look up. She doesn’t want to see the ghosts (She can’t help but peek at them from underneath her eyelids. She regrets it immediately. God, they’ll give her nightmares, or they would if she could still sleep, their eyes staring out at her, filled with pain and rage. Will she become like them eventually? Is this what Klaus sees every day?)

 

(Is she a coward if she doesn’t look at them?)

 

She closes her eyes, and soaks in Klaus’ warmth (somehow in this world of smoke and mirrors and a cold that she can’t quite shake Klaus is always warm and vibrant and so brilliantly alive).

 

#

 

“I don’t understand why you’re making me do this,” Luther grumbles, “I thought that we agreed that we’d take turns babysitting Klaus. There’s no point in us all hanging around and watching him waste his potential.”

 

Ben points at him.

 

“I am actually pretty fucking done with everything right now,” he says flatly, “So you are going to get your ass back to that hotel room and so help me you are going to wait there until we all get back so we can have a proper family meeting.”

 

Luther draws himself up, indignant.

 

Ben cuts him off with a sharp gesture.

 

“No! You’re part of this family Luther, and no matter what dad taught you family doesn’t mean bossing us ‘lower ranked’ kids around while you get patted on the head for parroting dad’s words back at us. It’s over Luther, ok? Our whole destiny, or whatever crap dad was spouting. There’s nothing left for us to do. The only thing, and I mean the only thing, left for us in this world is making sure that our brother doesn’t join us in the next few days, because I wouldn’t blame him! I really wouldn’t.”

 

Luther doesn’t know what to say. He’s never really paid attention to Number Six: if he’s honest Four, Five, Six and Seven have never been that interesting. Not really.

 

“You shouldn’t talk about dad like that,” he finally says.

 

Ben just huffs and disappears.

 

(How has Ben managed to make so much progress? It’s all that Luther can do to stop sinking into the ground sometimes, when he forgets that he’s meant to be walking on the sidewalk and not through it).

 

Luther gives one last regretful look toward the burnt-out husk of their house. People have been leaving flowers and small paper-maché replicas of their masks just outside the police cordon, and Luther has spent the entire day there, just staring at their mourning fans and reminding himself of the good that they’ve done for the world. The good that they can no longer do for the world.

 

(How is it fair that the most apathetic member of the Academy, the most useless apart from Number Seven who doesn’t count, is left alive? He should be the one still living. He wouldn’t let their legacy die like Klaus is going to.)

 

Then he sighs and makes his way back to the motel Klaus is staying at. He’s Number One: that means that he has a duty to protect all of his siblings.

 

 He hates to admit it, but he feels better the closer he gets: there’s something about Klaus that makes him feel more grounded. More real. It’s probably something to do with his powers now that he isn’t drugging himself into oblivion.

 

(And Luther… He’s not being malicious. He’s not. He just can’t understand. How someone who has been lucky enough to be given powers, someone who has been trained all their life to help people. How they can be selfish enough to just throw it all away.)

 

He’s just outside the door when he hears it. The screaming.

 

“KLAUS. KLAUS. HEAR US KLAUS. HELP US.” Echoes through the room. But more than that, he can hear his sister’s screams. Little Vanya’s screams.

 

(Technically they’re all the same age. But Luther thinks of them all as his younger siblings).

 

He rams the door, momentarily forgetting that he’s a ghost and ends up charging straight through, the force of his momentum propelling him halfway across the room before he can stop himself. Over by the bed… There’s Vanya. And a whimpering Klaus with his arms thrown protectively over his head. And there’s…Luther thinks that they must be ghosts. They’re the ones screaming Klaus’ name, surrounding him so closely that Luther can barely see his brother. They are…monstrous. Hardly human. Luther can see faces, horrible deformed faces, and glancing impressions of horrible wounds, and blood, and the small of rotting flesh. But he can also feel them somewhere deep inside: anger anger anger and a need to be heard to be seen to be avenged.

 

For a moment Luther can’t move.

 

And then…

 

Vanya hasn’t moved, she’s sat next to Klaus, mouth moving desperately but Luther can’t hear a word that she’s saying, the screams of the ghosts too loud and too present. She’s crouching over Klaus, trying to protect him. Vanya, barely five foot, trying to protect Klaus.

 

(Although Luther doesn’t think he’s ever seen his beanpole of a brother ever look so small before)

 

And one of the ghosts lashes out. Not intentionally. But it lashes out and-the hit lands. Vanya falls to the side with a small gasp, a silent cry of pain on her lips.

 

That’s enough to break Luther’s paralysis and he starts forward again-

 

But then Klaus looks up. And he sees the blue light oozing from Vanya’s cheek. And he screams, a short and sharp sound and there’s a tangible ripple and the impression of blue light-

 

And the ghosts disappear.

 

“What,” says Luther, “The hell is going on?”

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diego has a day out with his mom.

“Oh,” Mom breathes, “It’s beautiful.”

 

“Yeah,” Diego replies, “It really is.”

 

Because he doesn’t care about art. He’s not had much of an opportunity to develop a taste for it, between the training, the trying to oust Luther as Number One, and the whole ‘having better things to with his half hour of leisure time than stare at old paintings’. No, he’s never been a fan or art. But watching mom stare up at canvases with a soft smile on her face… Yeah, he can see where art-lovers are coming from.

 

The Metropolitan Museum of Art isn’t somewhere he’d ever thought of going. But when they all decided to split up and take some time to come to grips with their new situation… Well, can you blame him for wanting to spend some time with mom?

 

Mom is the only person who’s really been here for him. He loves his siblings (well most of them) but with Luther and Five he’s always trying to be better than them, something that doesn’t lend itself well to sibling bonding. Allison is nice enough, especially now that she’s stopped Rumouring them to do all her chores, but she’s so fixated on Luther that Diego either never sees her or can’t properly talk to her because he knows anything he says will be relayed to Luther and, depending on severity, through him to their father.

 

The other three, Ben, Klaus, and Vanya. He loves them (of course he does) but they’re just. So exhausting. All seven of them are the same age, but Diego can never shake the feeling that they’re the younger siblings, the ones that need to be protected. The ones who can be little brats (especially Klaus, although Ben can be surprisingly childish). In any case. He can’t relax when he’s with them, too busy trying to stop them from self-destructing in different ways. Klaus is the most obvious, but Ben’s horror at himself and his casual disregard for danger, Vanya’s need to be part of everything leading her to do idiotic things like running after them when they’re on missions or insisting in taking part in training despite having no powers… It’s enough to give a guy a heart attack.

 

(It really doesn’t help that Luther keeps ‘forgetting’ he’s stronger than everyone else, easily beating them in training before looking hopefully at their father for one of his rare, approving smiles. Diego can take it: he’s fast enough and more importantly doesn’t hesitate when it comes to punching Luther in his smug face)

 

Pogo… Pogo has done his best to be a father figure to them (because God knows their actual father isn’t going to sully himself with anything like actually talking to his children) but none of them can ever forget that he is essentially an extension of their father’s will. Conversations, the few that they share, die whenever Pogo approaches.

 

Mom though. Mom is the one who spent hours with him, working on his stutter. He knows that she downloaded speech therapy textbooks behind dad’s back, carefully integrating them into her servers. Mom’s always been there with a gentle smile, and (whenever no one’s looking) a hug.

 

And Diego hates it. Hates the fact that she’s shut in that big, lonely house with no way of escaping. Hates the fact that she’s essentially a slave, or worse than a slave because she’s not even allowed to speak badly of dad. Diego’s learnt though, learnt that when she says things like: ‘Your father has his reasons,’ or ‘Don’t bother your father, he’s busy’ that there’s a sympathetic tint to her smile, and she always makes them cookies or something she knows they like afterward.

 

(He also knows that the others don’t notice, can’t see the small acts of rebellion for what they are)

 

So. Even though they’re all dead now (and he doesn’t think it’s quite sunk in despite all the tourists that keep walking through them) he can’t help but think that it wasn’t the worst thing in the world to happen. Because it means that he gets to bring mom outside for the first time, to show her the city that she’s lived in for twenty years but has never got to see.

 

After the Met, the two of them are going to go to a park and just- sit in the sun. Admire the outside world.

 

Mom is staring up at Monet’s _Waterlilies and Japanese Bridge_ , and there’s a look on her face. Wonder. It’s a look that hasn’t faded from her face all day, and this, this right here is the reason that he insisted that she come with him, despite the fact everyone else thought she should stay with Klaus (apart from Klaus, but Diego thinks that’s just because he didn’t want a babysitter). But it’s not fair on her: she was a slave. But now she’s free. And she shouldn’t be expected to look after their brother for them for the rest of his life, just so that they didn’t have to bother doing it.

 

(Maybe he’s not being fair. Maybe he’s just being bitter. But hell, hasn’t he got a right to be? Haven’t they all?)

 

So when he sees Ben approaching out of the corner of his eye, he’s not pleased.

 

“No,” he says flatly, keeping his voice down so that mom can’t hear.

 

“Look Diego, this is important,” Ben says, and he does sound rough, “And I’m sorry that I’m interrupting but if you don’t come back to the motel with me right now for a family meeting, I’m going to have to resort to desperate measures.”

 

Diego snorts.

 

“Desperate measures?” he says, “What, like forcing me to go? I’d like to see you try.”

 

“You can’t say I didn’t warn you.”

 

Ben smiles. It’s not a pleasant one.

 

“Mom?” he says, raising his voice so he can be heard.

 

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Diego hisses, but it’s too late.

 

“Oh Ben,” Mom says, “I didn’t see you arrive. Are you joining Diego and I on our day out?”

 

“No, I’m sorry mom,” Ben says, “But I’m actually here to organise a family meeting. Klaus is in trouble and has maybe been in trouble for years-” he shoots a sideways, challenging look at Diego with these words- “and we need to get everyone together to talk about want we’re going to do about it.”

 

“Come here darling,” she says, and Ben obeys. She takes him in her arms and gives him a warm embrace.

 

“You look so tired,” she says, inspecting his face, “Of course we’ll come back with you dear. But you have to promise to take better care of yourself!” She pauses.

 

“Would you boys like me to make you some cookies?” she asks, and Diego’s heart cracks, because that’s how she’s learnt to make things better, all through their childhood and how can he explain to her that she’s never going to be able to make them cookies ever again?

 

“Not right now Mom,” Ben says, “But maybe later.”

 

She smiles again.

 

“Of course,” she hums, then hooks her left arm through Ben’s extending her right toward Diego.

 

“Well, shall we get going?”

 

“Yeah Mom,” Diego says resignedly, taking her arm. He glares at Ben, who either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care.

 

“Let’s go.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A family meeting.

“Right. We’re here. Now can someone please tell me what the hell this family meeting is about?”

 

Five is annoyed. Not because of the whole being dead thing. At least not directly. Honestly being dead has given him more freedom since dad fitted his room with sheets of power-blocking metal. He hasn’t been allowed out of the house (apart from missions) for at least three years, ever since he dissed the old man about his frankly pitiful control issues.

 

(He doesn’t regret it. Much.)

 

Anyway, being dead is one of the better things that’s happened to him in a while.

 

(He expects he ought to be a lot more traumatised by burning to death)

 

He gets to explore as much as he likes without being bother by the mundanities of people as they can’t see him. The only annoying thing is the fact he can’t actually touch anything, which means that he can’t take proper notes or read anything without forcing Klaus to turn pages for him.

 

It’s not too much of a setback of course: he is a genius after all. He can do the calculations mentally. And he has no doubt that sooner or later he’ll be able to figure out how to become corporeal enough to pick up a pen, even if he has to bully Klaus into sobriety to do so.

 

No. The annoying thing is that Ben had called him away just as he was starting to run experiments. How is he meant to work like this?

 

The whole family is in Klaus’ motel room, which is starting to feel a bit cramped what with the seven teenagers. Klaus is sat on the bed, legs crossed underneath him in one of the most uncomfortable poses Five can think of. Vanya is perched next to him and Luther is hovering over them like a brooding mother hen. Diego and mom are by the door, and boy Diego doesn’t look happy about being here. Allison is stood next to Luther, but it’s clear she doesn’t know what’s going on either. And finally, Ben is pacing, striding back and forth in the small amount of space that isn’t taken up by their ghostly forms.

 

“Don’t look at me bro,” Klaus says cheerily, “Totally not my idea.”

 

He looks pale and tired, but honestly Klaus always looks like he’s one bad cold away from collapsing. Five figures it’s because of the drugs, although honestly he’s always been a bit fragile.

 

(He doesn’t think about all the missed meals dad handed out as punishment when they were younger. It’s no wonder that all of them, apart from Luther, have food issues)

 

“I called this meeting,” Ben says, “Because we need to talk about the ghosts.”

 

“What ghosts?” Allison asks.

 

“Yes Klaus,” Luther says dangerously, “Tell us about the ghosts.”

 

Luther looks… He looks helpless. It’s not a look that Five’s seen on him before. Not confident Number One, always sure that he knows the solution to every problem whether or not common sense or, you know, the laws of physics agree with him.

 

“Er,” says Klaus, “What do you want to know? I figure that you guys are much more equipped to deal with these questions as you’ve actually joined their ranks.”

 

Diego rolls his eyes and mutters something uncomplimentary under his breath, stopping guiltily when mom levers a disappointed look at him. Five smirks to himself. Diego’s such a momma’s boy.

 

“Just give us an overview,” Ben says gently, glaring at the rest of them. Five narrows his eyes. He’s never seen his nerdy brother this worked up about anything, and honestly? That more than anything convinces him to start paying attention.

 

“Well…” Klaus says, “There’s you guys.”

 

He makes a vague gesture encompassing the entirety of the room.

 

“You’re actually pretty special! I’ve never seen ghosts this solid before. I mean, usually they’re kind of stuck to one place or they’ve gone loco. But you guys can just. Move around like normal. And you haven’t gone insane. I mean not more than usual.”

 

“I think that may be because of you,” Five says evenly, crossing his arms.

 

Everyone stares at him. They look like idiots.

 

“What?” he snaps, “Am I the only one who’s noticed it? The fact that I feel drawn to Klaus? Or that if I get too far away I start losing myself?”

 

“Awww Five,” Klaus coos, “I knew that I was your favourite.”

 

Luther is getting impatient, shifting uncomfortably until Allison lays a comforting hand on his shoulder.

 

“That doesn’t explain what those things that attacked you and Vanya were!” he says.

 

“What things?” Diego asks, eyes narrowing.

 

“When I got here,” Luther says, “There were these monsters. They were,” he swallows, “Terrifying. Like rotting corpses. But worse somehow. So much worse. They were ccreaming Klaus’ name. Attacking him. They hurt Vanya.”

 

“It was only a scratch,” Vanya mutters, hand unconsciously brushing her cheek. Five looks closer and yes. Now he’s looking for it he can see the faintest of wounds, glowing blue.

 

Klaus sees it too and there’s a flash of something dark on his face before his normal cheerful persona replaces it.

 

“Aw shit little sis,” he says, “I’m sorry about that. Those ghosts are assholes but I didn’t think they’d be able to hurt you. They usually just go straight through me. You should have just got out the way.”

 

“Don’t be stupid Klaus,” Vanya snaps back, “I wasn’t just going to let them attack you like that. Just because I don’t have powers doesn’t mean I can’t help.”

 

Vanya really has become more assertive recently. Another score for death, Five supposes.

 

“No! I mean I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that I’m used to it.”

 

Klaus looks genuinely apologetic. He raises his hand tentatively and touches Vanya’s cheek. To Five’s surprise it connects, and before his eyes the wound gets smaller.

 

“What the hell?” Five asks watching the scratch disappear slowly. The blue glow disappears at the same time, leaving Vanya’s face smooth and unmarked.

 

“Stop it Klaus!”

 

Ben’s voice rings out as he springs forward trying to shove the two of them apart. He falls through them with a frustrated groan. Well. That’s interesting. None of them have been able to touch Klaus, but Ben should be able to interact with Vanya just fine.

 

Five doesn’t understand what the problem is though. Until he sees that Klaus is steadily getting paler and paler. Blood starts dripping down his cheek as a similar wound to Vanya’s carves itself into his flesh.

 

“Huh,” says Klaus weakly, “I’ve never done that before.”

 

And then he falls forward like a broken marionette.

 

“Klaus!”

 

“Fuck, what the hell did you do?”

 

“Oh my god, Klaus!”

 

They all try to catch him as he tumbles off the bed, but mom is too far away and everyone else slips straight through him. Even Vanya.

 

“Is he-” Vanya asks.

 

“He’s still breathing,” Diego says, “It just looks like he’s unconscious.”

 

Mom moves forward and gently picks him up, laying him back on the bed. She takes her time arranging him comfortably, stroking his hair and pulling the covers up around him like she used to do when they were small, after a long day of training.

 

“There we are,” she says soothingly, “Just a little fall. I’m sure he’ll be better in no time.”

 

(Her smile looks strained. Five had no idea she could even look stressed)

 

“This is exactly the sort of thing I was trying to avoid!” Ben says.

 

“I think you need to tell us exactly what happened,” Allison said firmly.

 

Ben deflates. He sinks onto the bed next to Klaus, staring at him as if he’d never seen him properly before.

 

“I think that Klaus is in more danger than we ever realised,” he says, “He has been for years. I- Those ghosts. I mean I always knew he could see the dead, but I never knew what it actually meant, you know?”

 

“What are you saying?” Five asks.

 

“That they’ve been tormenting him for years,” Ben snaps, “That now I can see them too? I don’t blame Klaus for taking those drugs. Jesus.”

 

“But,” Luther says, “Klaus managed to banish them. Before. When they were attacking him.”

 

“I don’t think that was on purpose,” Vanya says, “I mean he wasn’t able to do anything to them. Not until-”

 

“Not until you got hurt,” Five finishes.

 

Diego scowls.

 

“Fuck. And you think he’s been dealing with this for years? Why didn’t you ask for help man?”

 

“He can’t hear you,” Five says mildly. “Anyway, what could we have done? We couldn’t see them.”

 

“We should have done something,” Ben murmurs.

 

“Don’t be stupid,” Five says, “There’s literally nothing we could have done. Not then anyway. Now though?”

 

He smiles.

 

“Now. I figure that it’s time to level the playing field.”

 

Five isn’t the most demonstrative of them. He’s the first to admit it. But vengeance on people or things that try to mess with his family? Those ghosts had better start running. Because he’s sure they’ve never met anyone like him before.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus is pretty sure his family have gone crazy.

Klaus is pretty sure his family has gone crazy. That or he’s overdosed again, and this is just one extended trip. They’ve been hovering around him like overprotective mother hens all morning. Even Five had told him he wasn’t as idiotic as he’d thought before demanding that he turn the pages of a physics textbook for him. In fact, Klaus swore that he’d even seen Luther awkwardly hover in front of one of the ghosts in the motel room, like the world’s shittiest potted plant, as if trying to shield it from Klaus’ view. Kind of pointless seeing as he’d already spent hours staring at it.

 

Allison has been looking as if she’d burst into tears every time, she looks at him and won’t stop trying to touch him. Ben alternates between looking pissed off at the world and softly asking Klaus if there’s anything he’d like to do together. Vanya’s refused to leave his side (apart from one mortifying incident when he really needed to pee, and she hadn’t realised until he’d literally started to unzip his jeans. Mortifying for her that is).

 

Mom’s the only one acting normally, softly smiling at him and offering to make waffles, even though she can’t actually touch anything.

 

Yesterday they’d been drawing straws to see who was stuck babysitting him. Today they’re falling over themselves trying to check his temperature. Did they all get replaced by aliens in the night?

 

But…his cheek throbs. The scratch there, the one that he’d somehow been able to take from Vanya…it isn’t closing. First-hand experience has taught him that a tiny wound like that should be scabbed and well on its way to healing by now. Instead whenever Klaus moves his mouth or turns his head too quickly, he can feel drops of blood rolling down his face. He’s pretty sure that the painful ache isn’t something that the drugs could conjure. It’s too real. Grounding.

 

Which means that he’s got confirmation that death drives people crazy. Case in point.

 

“I don’t think you should be walking around yet,” Diego says, arms crossed. He’s standing by his side and glaring at anyone who happens to cross Klaus’ path. So far his victims have included a teenage girl, a homeless guy, a group of middle-school boys, and one particularly cute poodle. True, the middle-schoolers were dead, but they weren’t harming anyone. By the looks of them they were going to fade in a few weeks anyway.

 

“You guys were the ones who wanted me to be a productive member of society,” Klaus says, “And Luther, aren’t you always going on about responsibilities and stuff like that? Plus I’m going to meet with dad’s lawyer! That’s totally a twofer for you: I’m doing something responsible _and_ something dad would approve of.”

 

Luther looks vaguely constipated from where he’s flanking Klaus, but Allison elbows him sharply in the stomach.

 

“Er,” he says, “Of course you shouldn’t shirk your responsibilities. And if dad wanted you to meet with his lawyers then you probably shou- Ow!”

 

Klaus blinks. Had sweet, shy Vanya just kicked Luther in the shins?

 

“But,” Luther continues hastily, “I’m sure that he wouldn’t want you to overexert yourself when you could just meet them tomorrow instead.”

 

Klaus stops dead (dead hah!) and narrowly avoids Ben walking through him, from where he’s taking up the rear. He’s not the only one staring at Luther incredulously. Five looks as if he’s encountered a particularly stupid species of insect, Diego is gaping at him, and even Allison looks pained.

 

“Were we raised by the same person?” Klaus asks. “You think that dad, _dad_ , the man who sent us out on death missions from age twelve onward-”

 

“I don’t think they were death missions-”

 

“Yeah well you weren’t the one who had to watch the dead criminals stalk us afterward. Dad the guy who routinely locked me in a mausoleum overnight as training, dad whose favourite punishment was forbidding us from eating if we couldn’t beat you at training-”

 

“He was trying to motivate us!”

 

“Oh my god stop talking,” Ben says despairingly.

 

“-Dad who would rather listen to dead hikers than deal with one of us asking him to pass the salt at the table-” Klaus pauses.

 

“Wait, what was I saying again? That thought totally got away from me.”

 

“Never mind,” Allison says, “The important thing is that you go and meet dad’s lawyer as quickly as possible so that you can get enough money to find somewhere to stay. And buy something other than waffles to eat.”

 

“Awww,” Klaus pouts, “But I love waffles.”

 

“I know you do,” Ben says indulgently, “But you probably need to eat a vegetable at some point. Or all your teeth are going to fall out.”

 

Klaus gasps.

 

“Ben!” he says, “How dare you say such a thing! Just because you’re going to stay young and gorgeous forever doesn’t mean you get to lord it over us poor living folk.”

 

“Can you hurry up?” Five says, “I think that woman’s about to call the police on you.”

 

Klaus follows Five’s pointing finger. There’s an old woman staring at him. Klaus waves and blows a kiss in her direction. She flinches back.

 

“Oh, because that was smart.”

 

“Yeah, maybe you should get moving,” Diego says, “I wouldn’t put it past her to get you arrested. Plus, you kind of look like you’re about to fall over.”

 

“I am not!” Klaus protests, although he does feel a bit woozy. Which is stupid! He’s only been up for a couple of hours, and he was allowed to sleep in as long as he liked. He hasn’t even done anything but hide in a motel room and order room service for the past couple of days. It’s not like he’s been training or anything. Ok, yes, he has been going through the teensy tiniest bit of withdrawal as he hasn’t been able to meet with any of his dealers lately (thanks to his over vigilant babysitters) but he’s gone through withdrawal before. Every time dad would catch him with drugs, he’d be locked in his room for a few days to get over it. It’s become old hat by now. So why does he feel so weak?

 

“Klaus, I’m pretty sure I could knock you over. And I’m dead,” Ben says bluntly.

 

“Fine, fine. I’m moving. Seriously though. I don’t know why you guys are so worked up about this. I’ve had worse. And you’ve never cared before.”

 

There’s an abrupt silence. Everyone falls looks away guiltily.

 

“What? What’d I say?” Klaus asks. He wasn’t being serious- ok, he wasn’t being _that_ serious. He’d been sort of joking, trying to diffuse the tension. No one was laughing though.

 

“Nothing,” Luther says eventually, “Now. Get walking. It’s only a couple more blocks to the lawyer’s office. And then you can go back and rest.”

 

Klaus snorts at them but does as ordered (for once) and starts walking. His siblings fall back into formation around him, Five and Vanya scouting ahead, Diego, Allison and Luther flanking him, and Ben taking up the rear.

 

Klaus has no idea what’s going on.

 

If he’s honest though, it’s kind of nice. But Klaus can’t get used to this, can’t get used to people listening to him when he talks or seeming to care about him. Because then he’ll get dependant on them, on this _attention_. And then what’ll he do when things go back to normal? No. If he’s going to be addicted to something, he chooses the drugs. They’ve never let him down.

 

Diego gives a death glare to a passing pigeon, which to be fair does look kind of menacing, and, counting on his unwillingness to walk through his brother, herds Klaus to the side to avoid it.

 

Honestly. What is up with everyone?

 

"Hold on," says Ben, "What did you say about dad locking you in a mausoleum?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Allison fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone reviewing, reading, and giving Kudos: you're all amazing and you're the reason that I'm writing! You guys have no idea how often I reread the comments, or look at the people who have given me kudos and just start smiling.

“Come on Klaus! Just tell me what you meant,” Ben pleads hurrying after their brother. Klaus is walking as fast as he can, although admittedly that isn’t saying much: Allison thinks that a toddler could probably give him a run for his money at this point.  Not that she really knows how fast a toddler can move: the only toddlers she’d ever met were her siblings and she’d hadn’t been in the best position to gauge how fast they were moving.

 

The result is an incredibly sad foot race, Ben periodically overtaking Klaus and pleading with him until Klaus catches up and walks straight through him.

 

“Just leave it Ben!” Klaus throws back over his shoulder from where he’s just made his latest escape, still shuddering from the presumably weird sensation of walking through his brother, “I was joking! It was a joke haha, of course dad didn’t do that to me. I was just looking for attention like always. You know him, he was practically father of the year material all the time.”

 

“I know you’re lying Klaus! We all know you’re lying. You’re an _incredibly bad_ liar.”

 

“Am not,” Klaus retorts, sticking his tongue out.

 

But he really is. He really, really is. Whenever Allison demands to know whether Klaus’ stolen her clothes or makeup, carefully smuggled into the Academy as contraband, his eyes will do this weird twitching thing, and he’ll loudly deny it before abruptly changing the subject.

 

And this here? Classic Klaus deflection.

 

“Look, Ben,” Allison says, catching up to him before he can chase after Klaus again, “I don’t think it matters at the moment.”

 

“How can you say that?” Ben demands, “How can you say the fact that dad locks Klaus in a mausoleum isn’t a big deal? In case you’ve forgotten Allison, our brother communicates with the dead! The very actively hostile dead.”

 

“Don’t,” Allison hisses, “Don’t you dare act like you’re the only one who’s worried about Klaus. Not when you didn’t give two shits about him before we died. I don’t think this is about him at all: I think this is because you’re feeling guilty. After all, you’re the nice brother, right? That’s how you’ve cast yourself? And now you just feel bad that you managed to miss the fact that Klaus was suffering. Well guess what. We all did!”

 

“Maybe I do feel guilty!” Ben retorts, “But at least I’m trying to do something now.”

 

The two of them have fallen quite far behind at this point, neither of them wanting Klaus to hear their whispered argument. Luther and Diego are still flanking Klaus though, and Allison has faith in their ability to keep him safe, although Luther keeps shooting concerned glances and accidentally walking through people.

 

(Thankfully Vanya is still right up front because Allison knows that she hates confrontation of any kind: although surprisingly she has been more confident over the last few days.)

 

“I’m trying to be better as well!” Allison says, “And I care about Klaus just as much as you do. And I don’t think it’s a good idea to get him worked up over this. Not when he still has to meet with the lawyer so that he can get enough money to find somewhere to live that’s not a crappy motel room, or worse. And not when he looks like he’s going to fall over or have a panic attack or something if you look at him wrong. And definitely not now, because whenever he opens his mouth to argue with you his cheek starts bleeding again and I don’t know how much more blood he can afford to lose.”

 

Ben deflates.

 

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, “I didn’t mean to accuse you of not caring. It’s just… it feels like every single time I talk to Klaus I learn a bit more about how messed up he is, about how much dad messed him up. And I keep asking myself: if it’s this easy, if I can find out all this information by talking to him…why didn’t I know before?”

 

“God. I know it’s messed up,” Allison says, “But we’re doing all that we can. We know what’s going on now, so we can fix it.”

 

She tentatively reaches for Ben, and when he doesn’t protest draws him into a hug.

 

“Not that I don’t think this is fascinating,” Five drawls, “But in case you haven’t notice, we’ve arrived at the lawyers’ office. Or at least those of us not engaged in a bitch fight have.”

 

“Shut up Five,” she snaps. Then blinks.

 

“How did you get back here so fast?” she says, “I thought you were up front with Vanya.”

 

“I still have my powers,” Five says, “It was the first thing I tested.”

 

“Wait, we still have our powers as ghosts?” Ben asks, “But I haven’t been able to feel Them since I died…”

 

Five shrugs. “All I can say is that mine are working fine. I can’t believe that you guys haven’t tested yours out yet.”

 

“Well some of us were pretty happy when we lost them,” Ben snaps back. He stops. Takes a deep breathe.

 

“Sorry,” he says, “To both of you. I guess I am a bit on edge at the moment.”

 

“Well we did die a few days ago,” Five says, “I think you have an excuse. In any case, we’d better catch up to Klaus. Because I don’t know about you, but the thought of Klaus in an enclosed space with a lawyer that dad chose is making me anxious.”

 

#

 

The lawyer is an odious little toad of a man. Not surprising considering that he’s been in Reginald Hargreeves’ employ for over twenty years, overseeing projects such as buying seven children.

 

“Mister Hargreeves,” he simpers, shaking his head in false sympathy and visibly disapproving of Klaus’ crop top and leather trousers, “I’m so sorry for your loss. Your father was a great man.”

 

“I’m not,” Klaus says, leaning back on his chair and placing his bare feet on top of the lawyer’s desk, “Because dear old daddy was frankly a horrible person who shouldn’t have been put in charge of a potted plant, let alone seven children. Don’t you agree,” he squints at the nameplate on the desk, “Henry?”

 

Allison can feel Luther wince beside her, and she firmly elbows him in the side. She knows that he has his own complicated feelings to process about their dad, but now is not the time to air them.

 

Henry’s lips thin in disapproval.

 

“Hmm,” he says before clearing his throat.

 

“Straight to business then,” he says, pointedly not offering Klaus any refreshments, “As all of your family died in the fire, you’re the sole beneficiary of his will.”

 

“My poor siblings,” Klaus says, “Gone but not forgotten. Do you know Henry, it feels like they haven’t left at all. I just see them all over the place! Even more than I did when they were all alive.”

 

He sniffs, wiping a fake tear from his eye.

 

“Indeed,” Henry says, “In any case. As I was saying you are Mr Hargreeves’ sole beneficiary. However-”

 

“This isn’t good,” Diego mutters.

 

“Due to the nature of Mr Hargreeves’ will, you will only be able to access his estate on your twenty-first birthday.”

 

“Wait, what?”

 

“I believe the intent was to curb some,” Henry sniffs, “Youthful spending on indiscretions. Don’t worry though,” he continues, smug satisfaction lacing his words, “Your father made sure you would be taken care of. His estate will pay you a sum of $20,000 per annum until you come into your inheritance. And of course, you’re allowed to live at the family home.”

 

“$20,000?” Ben protests, “That’s nothing! How is he supposed to live on that?”

 

“You mean the house that burnt down?” Klaus asks, “That’s the family home that you’re saying that I can stay at?”

 

For the first time Henry looks uncomfortable.

 

“Yes. Well. I’m sure you’ll be able to sort something out.”

 

“I’m going to punch his smug face,” Diego mutters.

 

“Don’t be stupid: you won’t be able to make contact,” Five replies, “Wait until we’ve figured out how to make ourselves corporeal and then we’ll pay him a visit.”

 

Klaus sighs dramatically.

 

“Fine,” he says, then holds out his hand.

 

“Excuse me?” Henry says.

 

“Well, you said that I’d be getting $20,000. I want it.”

 

“Aha. No. I believe you’ve misunderstood me. The money will be paid weekly. In fact, you’ll receive $384.62 a week.”

 

“What?”

 

Seven overlapping voices cry out at the same time. That’s nothing. Is that even enough to pay for the motel? Allison doesn’t think so.

 

Henry reaches into his desk and pulls out two $50-dollar bills.

 

“Er,” Klaus says, “I might not be the best at math but I’m pretty sure that this is a lot less than $300.”

 

“Well,” Henry says, smiling sharply at him, “You see part of this week’s allowance has already been spent on your motel room. In fact,” he makes a big show of checking his watch, “You had better hurry back, hmm? I believe that check-out time is at 12, and you wouldn’t want to use up all your money. Why, the week’s not even half over yet.”

 

Diego growls and does try to take a swing at him. It goes straight through him.

 

Klaus stands up.

 

“I should have known that dad’s lawyer was as big of a dick as him,” he mutters.

 

“I’ll see you here next week,” Henry says calmly, not reacting, “Don’t be late. I dare say you can’t afford to be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gave you a hug ThebanSacredBand! True not one involving Klaus, but still. Surely I get points for this?


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They figure out a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, I was first emotionally destroyed by the finale of the Magicians and frantically writing fit to cope, then I was on holiday in Chicago and didn't have access to my laptop.
> 
> Thank you all for your comments and kudos and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

“You should have let me keep punching him! I would have connected eventually.”

 

Diego is fuming with rage. That smarmy son-of-a-bitch lawyer: he’d like to see how he could survive on $300 a week. Without a home. In fact, if he were still alive and therefore able to touch things, he might have engaged in a bit of… light arson.

 

(That’s a lie. It would have been a lot more than light arson: that fucking lawyer’s house, offices and car would have been ash. The moment he learns how to interact with the physical world, that prick is in for a world of trouble.)

 

Looking over at Luther, Diego thinks that he might not have been alone. It figures that the thing that’s finally uniting them is violence and panic over Klaus’ safety. All of them have returned to the motel to check out before they get charged for another night’s stay and watching Ben and Vanya’s gentle murmurs as they talk Klaus through packing (if one small shopping bag can be called packing) is making him even angrier.

 

“Because that would be helpful,” Five says sarcastically. He’s pacing in small circles around the room, fingers twitching spastically.

 

“Well at least I’m trying to think of a solution!” Diego says, “I don’t see you doing anything.”

 

“Trying-and failing because may I remind you, we’re not corporeal-to punch someone, not matter how much of a dick he is, isn’t a solution. In any case, he isn’t the problem. Dad’s will is the problem.”

 

Diego deflates. He knows that Five is right, even if he’ll never admit it (Five does not need another reason to be smug).

 

“No. What we need to do is come up with a short-term place Klaus can sleep at least. Buy ourselves enough time to come up with a proper plan. Since we died, we’ve been reacting to things. We need to be more proactive.”

 

Five raises his voice.

 

“Klaus?” he says, “Do you know anywhere we could go where you could sleep for a night or so without being disturbed?”

 

“You’re sending him out to sleep on the streets?” Luther hisses, outrage lacing his voice, “What the hell Five! There’s no way that he’s going to be able to survive out there. Not when he’s ill. Look at him!”

 

Klaus hasn’t improved since healing Vanya. Not after a night’s ‘rest’ (if falling unconscious can be called a rest), not after breakfast (waffles that he had picked listlessly at) and definitely not since learning that he was essentially homeless and a couple of meals away from being penniless. After leaving the lawyer’s office it’s like something broke in him: he’s been drifting silently, eyes wide and blown, skin clammy. Diego doesn’t know if he’s in shock, withdrawal, or there’s something more serious going on. Hell, it’s probably all three. It’s not like any of them have had any time to process anything since their death, and the unpleasant revelations just keep coming.

 

He doesn’t even look up to acknowledge Five’s question.

 

It doesn’t sit right with him. Klaus is many things, but quiet and withdrawn isn’t one of them: Diego would have expected him to make more of a scene, or at least outrageously flirted with the lawyer to mess with him. But no. Nothing.

 

“I agree with Luther,” Allison says, “Five, that sounds like an extremely bad idea. He’ll catch pneumonia or something, and it’s not like can bring him to a hospital!”

 

Ben’s head whips around: “Can you be quiet,” he says, “We’re trying to work here.” He pauses, “But yes, I also think that living on the streets is a bad idea.”

 

“Are none of you listening to me?” Five says, “I’m not saying that we banish Klaus to wander the streets of New York like some sort of Dickensian orphan. I’m saying that our brother might have some bolt-holes around the city, the amount of times that he’s disappeared.”

 

It’s true: Klaus does have an interesting (worrying, infuriating) habit of leaving the house for hours or days before sauntering in (usually high) as if nothing had happened.

 

“I have an idea,” Vanya says. Diego jumps. He keeps forgetting that Vanya is here. It’s so fucked up that he’s seen her more often since they died.

 

“What about dad’s houses?”

 

Luther snorts.

 

“The house burnt down,” he says, “That’s the reason we’re all in this mess in the first place.”

 

“No…” says Five slowly, “Vanya’s right. Dad was a billionaire, right? He must have dozens of properties. If we found one of those…”

 

“The lawyer said that he would only inherit once he was twenty-one,” Luther says.

 

“He also said that he Klaus was allowed to live at the family home,” Vanya points out, “And as Klaus is the only living member of this family, I think that anywhere he lives is the family house, right? And if just…stays there for a bit, so long as he doesn’t tell anyone it should be fine. It’s going to be his in a few years anyway.”

 

“Vanya,” Five says, “I like the way your mind works. Why haven’t we spent more time together?”

 

Vanya blushes, ducking her head so that her face is hidden by a curtain of hair.

 

“You never really wanted me around,” she says.

 

Diego feels a pang of remorse. Klaus wasn’t the only sibling he’d fucked up, huh?

 

“Well,” Diego says gruffly, “That changes today. We can’t have Five be the Hargreeves with all the good ideas: his head will get too swollen. You’re going to have to step up Vanya: for your family’s sake.”

 

“Oh, ha ha,” Five grumbles. He doesn’t look displeased though. “It’ll be nice to have someone with actual brains around for once, especially since Ben’s turned into a mushy mother hen.”

 

“It’ll take time to find dad’s other properties,” Allison says, “What are we meant to do in the meantime?”

 

“What about Griddy’s?” Vanya says, “I mean it’s not ideal. But the waitress there likes us. And it’s open 24 hours.”

 

“You really think that she’ll let Klaus camp out there?” Diego asks. She seemed nice enough when they snuck out, but people have limits. And in his experience, the only people they can trust are family. And that’s only because they all know each other’s secrets well enough to fuck each other up if one of them steps out of line. Mutually assured destruction at its finest.

 

“Yes,” Vanya says, “She seems like a nice person. And she knows that Klaus just lost everything: normal people give gifts of food when a loved one dies. And Klaus just lost nine loved ones: that’s got to count for something.”

 

“I don’t think we should bother a civilian like this,” Luther says. He looks over at Klaus who’s staring vacantly into the corner, Ben crouched in front of him and talking softly. He softens, “But I also think it’s the best choice we have. I say we do it.”

 

“Well if Number One approves,” Diego mutters.

 

Luther bristles and Allison intercedes hastily.

 

“So it’s settled” she says, “We get Klaus to Griddy’s. And then we look for dad’s properties.”

 

“I’ll take care of that,” Five says, “I can hang around the lawyer’s office and see if he has any papers out. Diego can go talk to mom and see if she knows anything. Luther, take Ben and Vanya: make sure that Klaus stays safe at Griddy’s: see if you can gather some more data about these ghosts.”

 

“Don’t push Klaus too much,” Allison says, “It’s not the right time to talk about it.”

 

“Don’t worry,” Vanya says, “I’ll make sure that they play nice.”

 

The two sisters share a determined look.

 

“And what am I doing?” Allison asks Five.

 

“You dearest sister are going to come with me. I want to test out whether you can still Rumour people. Or ghosts.”

 

“Promise me you’ll meet us back at Griddy’s this evening,” Luther says firmly, “Because I don’t know about you guys, but I think it’s a bad idea to split up too much. Not when it looks like the only thing keeping us from going feral is proximity to Klaus.”

 

“I don’t think-” Five starts to say.

 

“No. I’m ordering you to reconvene this evening.”

 

Five looks mutinous, until Luther adds: “I can’t lose anyone else.”

 

“Fine,” Five says ungracefully, “I’ll abide by your little curfew. Allison? Let’s go. I’d like to get back to the office before they put all the Hargreeves documents away.”

 

Diego stares after them for a moment. Then he turns around and goes to find mom.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allison and Five investigate.

“They have to be around here somewhere.”

 

Five stalks around the office, frustrated. Every single file is an untapped goldmine, but because he can’t touch them, because he hasn’t figured out how to physically interact with the world yet… They’re useless. Worse than useless: they’re taunting him.

 

The lawyer’s office is the tidiest, most organised place he’s ever seen, and that’s saying a lot considering they have a robot for a mom. In any other circumstance he would be ecstatic: a well organised room meant an easily search and grab. Not now… Not now when every time he tries to open a drawer or flip through a folder his hand goes straight through it…

 

“Maybe you should calm down,” Allison says.

 

Five turns on her.

 

“Calm down?” he demands, “How am I supposed to calm down! The answers are here, right here and I can’t access them. If I don’t find something then our brother; our practically catatonic brother, is going to have to spend the next three years homeless. And it’s going to be impossible to stop him using again because there are drug dealers on every corner. And may I remind you _dearest sister_ that when Klaus is high he can’t. See. Ghosts! Which means we’re going to be stuck with no way to communicate with him, forced to watch him self-destruct. So don’t tell me to calm down Allison.”

 

Five’s chest is heaving by the end of his rant: surprising considering he doesn’t have to breath anymore. But Allison doesn’t react to his angry words. Just looks at him steadily.

 

“Look, there’s no point getting worked up over something we can’t change,” she says, “Though god knows that’s our family speciality.”

 

“Then what do we suggest we do?” Five hisses.

 

Allison strides over to the closed door. “Isn’t that what you wanted me here for?” she asks, “To see of my power works? I say we do that.”

 

And then she walks through the wall. Five scowls. Allison and her stupidly dramatic exits. Well, two can play at that game. He dematerialises and reappears right next to where she’s waiting, just outside the office door.

 

“Well?” Five says, “Lead the way.”

 

Allison smiles.

 

And makes her way to the restroom.

 

“I’ve learnt a lot about Rumours,” she says, “Not the ones that I do on missions. Rumours when I sneak out at night to go clubbing, or when I want to go see a film. Dad’s never given us any money, so I’ve had to improvise. The restroom is relatively quiet, and you can meet all sorts of people there. No one is suspicious, not really. And depending on where you go, there aren’t any witnesses.”

 

Five raises an eyebrow. “Allison,” he says, “I feel that I might have underestimated you.”

 

Allison grins, wide and dangerous. “You definitely have,” she says, “But everyone does. Just because I’m the only girl on the team and can’t throw people through a wall. Or have tentacles exploding out of my chest.”

 

They enter the restroom. There’s only one person there, washing her hands at the sink.

 

“Jackpot,” Allison says, nodding at her, “You see what she’s wearing? Professional. Not too much make-up. A natural look. She’s high up on the food chain, but not too high. She doesn’t have to stand out to do her job, so she isn’t one of the lawyers. She’s probably a PA. And everyone knows that the secretaries have the real power around the office.

 

She wanders over to stand by the woman.

 

“I heard a Rumour,” she whispers in her ear, “That you stood on one leg.”

 

The woman continues to wash her hands.

 

“Try again,” Five says, “Put some oomph into it.”

 

Allison scowls at him, but turns back to the woman.

 

“I heard a Rumour,” she repeats, “That you stood on one leg.”

 

The woman blinks slowly, hands stilling. She looks slightly dazed, but still isn’t doing as Allison asked.

 

“Maybe try visualising it more in your mind,” Five says, “There must be some mental component, surely?”

 

“Stop backseat Rumouring,” Allison snaps at him. She takes a deep breath.

 

“I heard a Rumour,” she says again, and there’s an unearthly quality to her voice, “That you stood on one leg.”

 

Slowly, steadily, and staring at in in horrified silence, the woman’s left leg raises itself off the ground.

 

“What the fuck,” she says, pale face staring down the treacherous limb, “Is, is there anyone there?” she continues tremulously, “This really isn’t funny guys.”

 

“Something happened, something different,” Five says, “I think you managed to let her hear your voice. That would make sense: people have to hear you to get Rumoured.”

 

“That took a lot out of me,” Allison says. She shaking slightly, a fine tremor. And, it could be Five’s imagination, but she looks less… solid.

 

“Can you manage one more Rumour?” Five says, “Just one more. We need to figure out where Klaus can stay. Please Allison,” he says, seeing her hesitate, “Just one.”

 

“Fuck you and your emotional manipulation,” she says tiredly, but she resumes her position next to the secretary’s ear.

 

“I heard a Rumour,” she says, and Five can hear the same strange quality in her voice as before, “That you went to Henry Shapiro’s office and removed the Hargreeves file. I heard a Rumour that you then searched through it until you found one of Reginald Hargreeves’ properties located in New York, and then laid out the page containing the address out on the desk.”

 

The woman mechanically walks out of the restroom, the siblings trailing after her.

 

“I don’t like this,” Allison whispers, “It feels… It feels like I’m being drained. Like it’s a constant struggle to maintain the Rumour. It never felt like this when I was alive.”

 

“We just need ten minutes,” Five says, “You can hold on for ten minutes Allison. You can.”

 

She nods tiredly. Five frowns: he could be hallucinating, but he thinks that he can see through his sister’s legs.

 

“Madge! Are you ok?”

 

“Fine,” their Rumoured victim replies, “I just need to find a file from Mr Shapiro’s office.”

 

“What? You know that he doesn’t like people going through his papers.”

 

“I just need to find a file from Mr Shapiro’s office,” Madge repeats tonelessly.

 

“Are you alright?”

 

Madge ignores her co-worker and enters the lawyer’s office. She walks over to one of the filing cabinets and starts pulling out folders.

 

“Madge! Stop it. If you don’t stop I’m going to have to call security.”

 

Allison’s torso is becoming steadily more see-though. “I don’t know how much longer I can hold it,” she gasps.

 

“Two more minutes,” Five snaps, “We only need two more minutes.”

 

Allison nods listlessly.

 

“Come on, come on,” Five mutters to himself, “Go faster damn it.”

 

Madge has finally located a sheaf of papers and is mechanically spreading them over the desk.

 

“There’s something wrong with you Madge! You’re going to get fired for this.”

 

Five looks down at the papers. Commits the addresses to memory.

 

“I’ve got them,” he says, “Break the Rumour Allison, break it now.”

 

Allison gasps, loudly. Everything from her chest downward is transparent.

 

“I don’t feel so-” she says, and then collapses.

 

“Shit! Allison!”

 

Five throws himself toward her. She looks faint and insubstantial. Like a strong gust of wind could blow her away.

 

“Hold on,” Five says, “We’ll get you help.”

 

And praying that the rest of them had managed to make it to Griddys, Five concentrates. And they disappear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Someone left a comment on this chapter (which they've since deleted) about how my characterisation of Five and Allison feels a little...off in this chapter. Which is completely valid: honestly I have been writing a lot of Magicians fic recently and I'm not sure how well my character voices are doing at the moment! Also, I don't write Five and Allison as much as, say, Klaus.  
> I did however write quite a long reply about *why* both of them act this way in the chapter, mostly due to personal headcanons about them, and since I wrote it out anyway....  
> Here's the reply:
> 
> Thank you for commenting :) 
> 
> "Five is not in a great place at the moment (let's be honest, none of them are). He's stressed and going through a lot of emotional whiplash: he and all of his family died a few days ago. He's feeling happy about that though because freedom. But there's also the whole everyone is dead component. Plus all of the things that he didn't know about Klaus.  
> I see Five as someone who's extremely loyal to his family: after all he survived an apocalypse for them, he defected from a powerful time-travelling organisation for them when it would have been easier for him to just. Stay with them and forget about the apocalypse.  
> But he's also extremely condescending: he doesn't think much of any of his family in terms of intelligence (except maybe Ben?). He's always characterised himself as the smart one, and Allison as someone who's managed to skirt by because she could Rumour people and because Luther liked her. He doesn't see her as a threat or as someone who has any brains because he *doesn't know her well enough to know any differently*. And this is one of the big things I'm hoping to address int his story, the fact that no one, despite living together, really knows much about their siblings, what they love, what they have to deal with etc because they just...don't spend time together. Because their relationships are primarily antagonistic.
> 
> As for Allison: she's the only girl in the Umbrella academy. Yes, Vanya is also there but she isn't a part of the crime fighting band. Allison is the only girl in the spotlight. I feel that, especially now, when she's older, that she's probably been the subject of *lots* of scrutiny both good and bad: after all the umbrella academy are superheroes/celebrities, plus they're VERY mysterious. I don't see Reginald letting them too many interviews etc. Plus, she doesn't have a very 'flashy' power. Luther has supexstrenght and is known to throw people out of windows. Diego has his knives, and nothing screams danger like a knife. Ben has literal tentacles that emerge through his stomach. Five can teleport. Allison (and Klaus)... their powers are more internal. Sure, Allison can Rumour people to turn themselves in or to shoot their friends. But once again, not as visually impressive. Plus, people know to be wary around her: nobody wants to think that they can be mind controlled. It's easier to dismiss her as that Umbrella academy girl, you know the cute one. The one who just tells people what to do, haha sounds like my wife. People rationalise that what she does isn't that impressive really, because if they think about the full extent of what she can do then they can't handle it. 
> 
> In conclusion Five is protective but also condescending and self-centred in a 'the whole world revolves around me, I'm the only one with brains here' way and Allison is used to people diminishing her abilities because she's young, female and her power terrifies people. 
> 
> Basically, a lot of their characterisation comes down to what I, personally feel about their personalities at this stage and this is completely subjective so I totally understand if you feel they don't quite fit for you :) Thank you for reading and commenting and I hope you enjoy the next chapters!"
> 
> Feel free to disagree with any of this: it's very much just what I, personally, think! And also feel free to chat with me in the comments about it :) thank you all for reading :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Griddy's!

“Come on Klaus,” Vanya says, “Just another bite. It’s waffles! You love waffles.”

 

Klaus mechanically raises the fork to his mouth and takes another bite. He still looks pale, and Vanya is certain, _certain_ , that if she could touch him then his skin would be clammy and cool to the touch. He looks like he did when he had snuck out of the house, age fourteen, and caught the ‘flu of all things. At the time none of them had been pleased, especially not dad, because despite having superpowers, (most of them having superpowers) their underexposed immune systems had been no match for the virus. All of them had fallen sick, even Luther although he still denies it years later.

 

Dad had thrown up his hands and declared it useless to train them when Five had literally collapsed midjump and stranded himself on the roof. Retreating to his study to avoid falling sick, he had left them all to their own devices for the entire day.

 

Ben had asked if they could all stay in the living room together. He had claimed that it was so that it would be easier for mom to take care of them all, and none of them had been feeling well enough to complain. Vanya remembers that day: all seven of them wrapped in matching quilts, huddled together as mom gently and firmly fed them chicken broth and Tamiflu, regular as clockwork.

 

Surrounded by her siblings, wracked by shivers, it had been one of the most miserable times in her life. But it was also one of her favourite memories because this? This was normal. Being ill was normal. And as messed up as it was, it was one of the only times she had been included in their family.

 

That doesn’t mean she wants Klaus to re-live it though.

 

“Oh dear,” Agnes says, coming over with another mug of hot chocolate and sadly looking at the untouched orange juice that she had brought over an hour ago, “You’re still feeling poorly, hmm Klaus?”

 

She lays a gentle, motherly hand on his shoulder and Klaus shudders slightly and leans into the touch.

 

God. Vanya wishes she could do the same. Either comfort her brother or have an adult, a real adult, stroke her forehead and let her know that everything was going to be ok. Like mom. Looking around, she isn’t the only one.

 

Luther is…well hovering is the only way to describe it. Leaning over Klaus and glaring at Agnes, ready to take her out if she does so much as look at their brother wrong.

 

“You do know you can’t actually touch her, right?” Ben says. He’s sitting in the booth next to Klaus, and honestly Vanya thinks that they should probably send him away for a break as well, tell him to go and help Diego talk to mom, because he hasn’t left Klaus’ side for hours and looks as if he’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She doesn’t though. Because she understands the urge, the need to stay near Klaus.

 

“Klaus managed to touch Vanya somehow,” Luther replies, not looking away from where Agnes is asking Klaus if he wants something else to eat, “And I don’t trust her. She’s a civilian.”

 

Vanya rolls her eyes. As soon as Klaus had stepped into Griddy’s, Agnes had started fussing over Klaus. None of them had ever known if they had been recognised when they snuck out for their midnight doughnut feasts: evidentially they had. Because Agnes hadn't asked where the rest of them were, just ushered Klaus over to their usual booth and looked sadly at the empty space framing him. And five hours later, she still hadn’t asked him to leave. Or pay for that matter.

 

(Vanya sees her red eyes, the way she keeps glancing at Klaus and looking away guiltily, the long breaks that she takes, before returning with puffy eyes and another untouched treat to add to the pile in front of him)

 

She doesn’t say anything though. Not just because she still feels weird and unsure about actually being seen by her siblings. But also because she understands that Luther feels useless, that none of them know how to help. That all of them are focusing on Klaus because if they stop to think, if they stand still for just one moment… Then they have to go back and deal with the fact they’re all dead.

 

“It’s fine,” Klaus says, and they all jump because it’s the first proper thing he’s said in hours. Since the lawyer’s office. He looks up at them and manages a shaky smile.

 

“Klaus!” Luther says, and there’s so much in that one word.

 

“You asshole, you really had us worried,” Ben says, punching his shoulder. Or trying to. His fist goes straight through. But Vanya doesn’t care.

 

“Awww,” Klaus says, “You missed me that much? I didn’t even go anywhere!”

 

“Yes you did,” Vanya says, “God Klaus. Please: don’t. Don’t do that again.”

 

Klaus looks at her and there’s something dark in his gaze behind the forced joviality.

 

“Well, wouldn’t want to worry my little sis,” he says.

 

“For the last time, we’re the same age!” Vanya says, but she’s smiling as well. Despite the fact he still looks like shit, the fact that he’s present, that he’s engaging… God she didn’t know how worried she was until it all fell away.

 

(She ignores the people looking at Klaus, who must think he’s talking to himself. She doesn’t give a crap about them.)

 

“Klaus,” Luther rumbles. He’s using his Number One voice, the one that he only breaks out on missions, “What happened?”

 

Klaus shrugs unsteadily, listing slightly to the side.

 

“Dunno,” he says, “Just…everything was kind of blurry. Like walking through a fog. Or, ooh! Marshmallows!”

 

“Marshmallows?” Ben repeats, incredulous.

 

Klaus nods vigourously.

 

“Marshmallows,” he confirms solemnly, “The super fluffy, sticky ones. It was like walking through those.”

 

He screws his eyes up. “Or maybe look though them? Something like that.”

 

“How did you get out of the. Er. The marshmallow?”

 

“Your guess is as good as bro,” Klaus says, “One minute I could just…feel again.”

 

“It sounds a bit like shock,” Vanya says.

 

“Does that mean I get an orange blanket?” Klaus asks, looking up at her and fluttering his eyelids, “Because let me tell you, I would absolutely rock that look.”

 

He smiles up at her. And then he stops. Because…

 

“Oh,” he says, voice small and hurt, “That doesn’t feel so good.”

 

“Klaus?” Ben says, “Klaus what’s wrong?”

 

And Klaus is falling forward, eyes fluttering, blood streaming down his face from his re-opened cut.

 

Instinctively, Luther jumps forward to stop him from braining himself on the table and…he manages to catch him.

 

“What?” Luther asks, Klaus cradled in his arms.

 

“Lie him down,” Ben snaps, “Quickly, in case it stops working.”

 

“What’s going on?” Vanya asks. Because… Because Klaus was meant to be better now. Because they’d had five minutes of lucidity at best and that wasn’t fair. Because she doesn’t understand what’s happening and she’s afraid that it might be her fault. That she broke her brother when he healed her face.

 

“I don’t know!” Ben says.

 

No one at Griddy’s has noticed yet, but it’s only a matter of time. And they can’t afford a trip to the hospital, they just can’t.

 

There’s a feeling, like some unknown tension has been released, like a rubber band snapping back in place, and Five and Allison appear suddenly in front of Vanya. They both looked flushed. Happy. Victorious.

 

“We’ve found an apartment!” Five says, “In New York. And Allison’s Rumours worked so we may be able to hook it up to the power grid-”

 

He stops. Looks at her face.

 

“What-?” he asks. And then he turns around and sees Klaus.

 

“Oh shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got a lot angstier than expected. Sorry?


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revelations

Klaus is worryingly light. Still and pale in his arms. The only spot of colour the lurid red of the blood still running down his cheek.

 

This isn’t right. This isn’t what’s supposed to happen. Luther has been Number One his entire life: he feels it in his bones. The need to protect the world. To be a real superhero. A role model to his siblings, someone that Dad can be proud of. Because if he isn’t, if he’s just forced to stand here, helpless, then what was the point of it all? What was the point of the hours of training, pushing his body to its limits until he was still and trembling. Glancing up at Dad, hoping to see approval in those cold eyes.

 

“You’re touching him,” Five says, “How are you doing that?”

 

Luther shakes his head.

 

“I don’t know,” he says, “I just… caught him. It was instinct.”

 

“Hmm.”

 

Luther can hear people talking around him.

 

“We need to get him out of here!” Ben says, “People are going to notice soon.”

 

“Can you do it?” Vanya asks, “You can teleport. And you managed to teleport Allison. But can you get us all out of here?”

 

“I don’t know,” Five says, “Allison, yes. The rest of you, probably. But Klaus? He’s alive. We’re not. And I don’t know why he isn’t waking up.”

 

“We don’t have time!” Ben says, and Luther knows that he’s running his hands through his hair, over and over, tugging at it viciously.

 

“At least one of us has to stay here to let Mom and Diego know where we are,” Allison says, “Five, I think that you and Luther,” she glances to the side at Ben quickly, “And Ben should teleport to Dad’s apartment. Vanya and I can wait here for the others. I know where the address is.”

 

Five scowls.

 

“I don’t like it,” he says, but then he looks at Klaus and he softens, “But we don’t have a choice. Ben, Luther come here. Hold onto me and for God’s sake, don’t drop Klaus.”

 

There’s a strange, shuffling dance as each of the brothers try to hold on to each other with both a table and an unconscious Klaus in the way. Luther tries not to bump Klaus against anything: he has no idea whether his brother is corporeal at the moment (he’s alive and should be, but Luther is also touching him which is a strange and worrying development).

 

“Hold on,” Five says, and then the four of them are gone.

 

Luther stumbles when they reappear, almost dropping Klaus. He’s never really got used to the disorientation that comes with teleportation, and it doesn’t help that Five’s only offered to transport him a handful of times. And only in literal life and death situations.

 

Luther has started to realise that he maybe hasn’t been the best brother, despite his best efforts. His whole life has been a constant cycle of trying to be worthy, always thinking about what would please his father instead of what he would like to do with his life.  

 

His siblings were his to protect and worry over, and to provide a good example for, because after all, he was Number One wasn’t he? The most beloved, the most powerful. Only. He never felt like that. NO matter what dad told him, he could never quite hide the hurt when Diego took vicious pleasure in beating him, or Ben and Klaus fell silent whenever he approached them, or Five ignored him as if he were beneath his notice. Allison was the only one who didn’t think he was an extension of dad. And he had held that resentment for most of his life.

 

But.

 

Maybe it wasn’t them. And it wasn’t just him.

 

In his arms, Klaus starts to convulse again, and Luther feels it: that helpless rush of protectiveness.

 

“Damn it! Put him down Luther, quickly.”

 

There’s more blood. Dripping out of Klaus’ nose and ears, dark red and no doubt staining the wooden floors of wherever the hell they are. The convulsions only last a few seconds, but they are some of the longest seconds of Luther’s life.

 

Finally, final, Klaus stills and flops back.

 

The three brothers stand silent.

 

“What are we meant to do?” Ben says, “He was getting better. I swear, he was getting better. And then he just. He just left again.”

 

Five starts pacing, his footsteps echoing in the empty room.

 

“There’s something that I’m not seeing,” he says, “Why can’t I see this? If I just thought-”

 

“Five,” Luther says, moving to intercept him, “You need to rest. We all need to rest.”

 

“How can you say that?”

 

“No, he’s right,” Ben says, “We need time to regroup. Now that we’ve got a semi-stable place to stay, we have more time to figure out what’s going on. We can take a step back and think about things instead of having to react to every new disaster that comes our way. In any case, we should wait for the others to get here.”

 

Five shuffles, “I could just-“

 

“No!” says Ben, “No teleporting. What part of resting didn’t you get?”

 

“I’ve been fine actually,” Five says, “I haven’t found my limit yet. Maybe this whole being dead thing has its upsides…” He trails off. Turns pale and collapses to the ground next to Klaus.

 

“Oh shit.”

 

“What is it?” Luther asks urgently, “Are you injured?”

 

“I’m a ghost,” Five snaps at his, “I can’t be hurt. I don’t think. And that’s the point. Because if I’m a ghost, where’s the energy coming from?”

 

Luther stares at him.

 

“I don’t understand,” he says.

 

“When we were alive,” and to his credit Luther doesn’t flinch at the reminder that they’re all dead, that he utterly failed every member of his family, “Our powers used energy, yes? We all had limits. We drew on our own strength.”

 

“I don’t see what that’s got to do-”

 

“For once in your life, think! The energy, where’s the energy coming from?”

 

“Fuck,” Ben says, “When you teleported us, Klaus collapsed.”

 

“I convinced Allison to use her Rumours,” Five says blankly, “It was the only way to get the address. She said it felt like being drained. But-what if she wasn’t the only thing she was draining?”

 

And Luther gets it. And looks down at Klaus, pale and still on the floor. It’s their fault?

 

“We aren’t just ghosts. We’re parasites.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well done to everyone who guessed what was happening!   
> I don't particularly...like this chapter, but it's been sitting half-finished on my computer for over a week now, so I decided to bite the bullet and just go for it.  
> Also, please bear in mind that this chapter is from Luther's POV and his thoughts do not necessarily equate to what actually happened: all of these kids are super messed up in their own ways.

**Author's Note:**

> I now am also on Tumblr under the [same name](https://nemainofthewater.tumblr.com) .


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